Negative Development

Well, got some bad news.  Last week me and a number of other folks were relieved of our positions at the ole' place of employment.  Times are tough in TO, economy-wise.

Wasn't sure how to deal with this info in respect of my little blog-io.  Not looking for sympathy.  And can't really talk about details.  But I wanted to put it in here.  Because obviously it's going to feed into everything that's going on in my life.  And to ignore would be dishonest. 

Which is not to say that I am also not hyper-aware of this becoming "JJ's job search blog!"  I don't want that.  Particularly because of the fact that I am writing in real time, not coming back after there has been some sort of redemptive conclusion.  It may drag on.  And there may be no happy ending.  Which is not to say that I am not hopeful and confident. I am.  But I am a realist.  "Things always work out for the best"  and related sayings are bullshit. Stuff doesn't work out for people all the time.  

My dad was a middle manager at Great West Life when, in the "lets get leaner" 90's, he was shown the early-retirement door.  He tried to get a job.  Set up my sister's old room as his office.  Sent out lots of resumes.  Job search machine.  After a long, search, he got one.  Part-time at the help desk in a building supply store. 

So...if things don't go rosily, I don't want my blog to just be some sort of documentation of rising desperation as my hopefulness and confidence bleeds away.  Ugh.  That's not bringing the yuks! Plus what about the Gabe and E-man!?  I can't ignore those dudes!

I once went to a short  film festival in Winnipeg.  My friend Chris was in one of the short films they showed. 
They also showed a Guy Maddin film where there was some dude banging a fish against a tree.  One of the others was about this author who is trying to get his arty book published.  This publisher guy says to him something along the lines of "that's the thing about sad stories...everybody wants to write one...nobody wants to read one..." I still think that's brilliant.

Anyways, I guess gonna see how things go.  If ultimately things DO go badly, and this becomes exactly what I fear, you can stop reading. Now JJ will understand.  Although I suppose that I can't promise that future bitter and broken JJ may not be a dick about it. 

JJ out.

You made it too easy, Dad!

Video time!

Background!:

Neither of the boys can ride a bike.  At least without training wheels.  E-man's only five, so not that big a deal.  But Gabriel is eight.  Past time.  Two summers ago, he and I tried.  No go.  Last summer he and I tried again.  If anything, it was harder to get him to try last year than the year before.  Not because he was lazy, and not because he doesn't care.  But because he lacked self-confidence. He was scared to try, because he thought he would fail.  I got him to try the only way I knew how: bribed him with Lego.  "If you try 100 times, I will buy you a Lego set."  We almost got it.  It seemed obvious that he could physically do it; he rode at least 20 feet a couple of times.  But in his head, he got frustrated.  And discouraged.  And that was it.   Lego or no Lego, he was done with cycling.  Which is not to say that I could not have been more persistent.  I could have been.  But just kinda didn't make a priority I guess.  Bad dad.

But now it's a new season! And JJ is bound and determined to get them both riding this summer!  And as for Gabriel, he is sporting a new confidence these days.  I wish I could attribute it to parenting but I honestly think a lot of it is coming from his school. Where his old school was tearing him down, these guys are building him up.  Helping him believe he can do anything. An example of this confidence?  A couple of weeks ago, we are swimming in a friend's pool.  There's a diving board.  Into the deep end.  He had never jumped off a diving board before.  Not only did he want to try, but  after getting me to spot for him the first time, he was like "don't touch me dad! I can jump in and swim to the side myself!"  And then he was swimming to the bottom of the pool! I mean, look at this kid!

So I had reason to hope that maybe we were going to get there.  Off we went to Canadian Tire to get Gabe a new bike, while Emmett gets his old bike, and secure a commitment from both boys to give it 100 tries each (in exchange for...you guessed it...Lego!!!! Emmett wants some too!!!) then, Canada Day, we are off to the track!  The track!  Brilliant, right!? Not too hard to pedal over, like grass is, but not as hard as cement if you fall!  Brilliant! 

And how did it go?  Emmett tried his heart out.  Almost got it.  He would have kept trying too, except that poor old dad somehow tweaked his back bending over and holding the seat.   Aging!  So much fun! "We have to stop now, Emmett, because Daddy can no longer bend..."

And Gabe?  Well, see for yourself!  Commence video!

Too easy indeed.  One down!

JJ out!

For Sparta!!!!!!....Derp

Halloo, Internet!  I am back!  Happy Canada Day to you!  Guess what I did last weekend?  Well, here's a hint..read the sign in the picture.  Yep...the "Spartan Race"!